Today I feel like writing. Not a poem or a short story, the way I often do lately, not even a text accompanying an “artistic” picture that sends me back on a trip to memory lane, I feel like writing a bit about myself and my life. Well, what do you know, you’ll probably say, isn’t it the only thing you do? 😉 Well, I read somewhere (I can’t remember where for the life of me), I read about this universal question and its universal answer- “What makes your problems bigger than anybody else’s?” “Because they’re mine!”- and what can I say, it’s the perfect description.
I’m in a good place in my life- I feel loved and I love him back, with a peace of mind only possible in adulthood, not at all reminiscing of the exhausting experiences in my early twenties, when I was losing sleep and energy over a phone that didn’t ring or a date that was 3 hours late. If you haven’t experienced that, you should consider yourself lucky, I for one have been through it all- reciprocated love, unrequited love, hate, addiction, Platonic love, you name it. But not anymore. Now I love the way I probably should have from the beginning had I only known how. One of my earliest memories of not being like everybody else was when I kept wondering how it was possible for the parents of one class mate to love him as long as he had spectacles. I mean, I was probably 7 and that was what was going through my head, how you had to be perfect in order to be loved. Anyways.
Although I don’t feel particularly professionally accomplished (I know you’ve heard that before!), I’m investing time and money in my hobbies, I’m traveling and I’m reading like never before, I feel the world at my feet, the only thing I have to do is grab it by the tail! And that I am, every day is sort of an adventure, a small adventure, that is, ’cause I still need my naps, but these days I’ve been driving outside town with a friend for props- a marble board and old wooden boards- popped by thrift stores for antiques and styled my own little “tableaux”, with more or less luck. And today I’ve baked bread, not that I hadn’t done that before, but the kind of old-fashioned round bread, the no knead one. And boy, was it lovely!
I’m back from a long weekend in Rome and it was amazing. And it makes me think about all the things that change and how we perceive everything differently with age. My first time in Rome was in 2007 and I didn’t love it. I remember walking around with V and asking each other- “Do we love it now?” and the answer was still no, even after 7 days of wandering around streets lined up with orange trees. I don’t know what it was that didn’t do it for me then- maybe the fact that it was February, the streets still flooding with tourists, maybe the fact that I’d caught a cold, maybe the fact that the city centre was outrageously overpriced and that we didn’t have that much money with us then. Or maybe it was just the expectations.
I lie awake next to you
And I can feel your warm breath
On my arm.
It draws a pattern on my skin
And feels like love.
I lie awake next to you
Waiting for you to open your eyes
And see me.
February 2016, Oslo
After a long winter, I finally get to see a bit of sun! Strolling through Berlin again and feeling sun rays on my cheeks feels surreal, even though that means tears down my face ’cause I didn’t think of taking my shades with me. Continue reading
You catch my eye
Like the candle flame
Fluttering before it dies
Beautiful and frail.
I reach out for you
Your skin feels like sun beams
I burn my finger tips in longing.
In your smile
I see the truths lined up
Like fir trees
Waiting to be picked up
To a joyful Christmas home.
Hi, peeps! What’s up? I’m dead tired after working alone yesterday, whisper interpreting for many hours on end is the worst and my throat is still sore. So I called it a day off, took Sammy to the woods and now I’m planning to dose off on the couch for an hour or so. 😉 Continue reading