I’m in a good place in my life- I feel loved and I love him back, with a peace of mind only possible in adulthood, not at all reminiscing of the exhausting experiences in my early twenties, when I was losing sleep and energy over a phone that didn’t ring or a date that was 3 hours late. If you haven’t experienced that, you should consider yourself lucky, I for one have been through it all- reciprocated love, unrequited love, hate, addiction, Platonic love, you name it. But not anymore. Now I love the way I probably should have from the beginning had I only known how. One of my earliest memories of not being like everybody else was when I kept wondering how it was possible for the parents of one class mate to love him as long as he had spectacles. I mean, I was probably 7 and that was what was going through my head, how you had to be perfect in order to be loved. Anyways.
Although I don’t feel particularly professionally accomplished (I know you’ve heard that before!), I’m investing time and money in my hobbies, I’m traveling and I’m reading like never before, I feel the world at my feet, the only thing I have to do is grab it by the tail! And that I am, every day is sort of an adventure, a small adventure, that is, ’cause I still need my naps, but these days I’ve been driving outside town with a friend for props- a marble board and old wooden boards- popped by thrift stores for antiques and styled my own little “tableaux”, with more or less luck. And today I’ve baked bread, not that I hadn’t done that before, but the kind of old-fashioned round bread, the no knead one. And boy, was it lovely!