I’m so not gonna be the kind of mother that worries all the time, I told myself. I’m going to be cool, like I was with the cats and I am with Sam. I’m gonna think that nothing bad could ever happen to my baby, not after all I’ve gone through to get her/him. That’s what I thought. The truth is I’m an anxious person and I’m on max dosage of medicine to be able to deal with that on an everyday basis. I almost have a panic attack if a looney gets on the bus, I hyperventilate if a drunk seats himself next to me, you get the idea. I finally found out why mingling with the wrong crowd drains me of energy- it’s because if there’s no chemistry, anxiety kicks in. Continue reading
Where did summer go, I wonder. These days I’m looking for my autumn coats to wrap myself in and keep warm on chilly mornings. 😉 I’ve been nauseous for a period and crazy busy on top of that, which is always a horrible combination. But now it seems I can breathe a little more and I’m getting ready for a long weekend in London at the end of September. First and foremost it’s for a school project where I need to follow an interesting person over a couple of days and so I chose my friend Lavinia. Second it’s to get a break from routine and third- it’s my birthday!
I have to admit I was done with the Mediterranean heat, but did I see fall coming? Not for a second. It’s been raining on and off for days and it’s the second weekend it’s pouring like there’s no tomorrow. Depressing doesn’t even begin to cover it. I feel like going to bed never to wake up again and I’m not even kidding.
Sunday at last, nice and quiet, coffee in my hand and apartments to check on the internet. I’m listening to the birds chirping outside and peeping on Sam who sleeps like a puppy with his paws gathered.
The days pass by quickly, I barely notice them, between photography classes, interpreting here and there, a coffee with a friend and making dinner, Monday turns into Wednesday and suddenly it’s Friday all over again. I want to do all sort of things, I find photography exhibitions nearly every other day, but either they collide with my classes or the weather prevents me from getting out of the house.
Today we’re going to a friend’s place for lunch where I’ll be photographing her 3 years old with Sammy boy. It’s raining again, I can feel it in my limbs, especially after the party yesterday; we didn’t go to bed until 2 am. I’m too old for that, while everybody was dancing I petted Kalle, the dog of the guests. Both he and I were looking at each other with that pained face saying “turn down the music and then turn it off”.
Have a lovely day!
I’m discovering myself again through photography, through shadows and light, through longing and lust. I’ve never thought of myself as a very creative person before, but now I feel all these streams of consciousness awaking in me and all I want to do is listen. Continue reading
I haven’t felt like writing in a very long while, I’ve tried to concentrate on photography, half guessing and half knowing what I’m doing. 😉 I can say that I’m slowly starting to get a grip on it, but the more I understand, the more there is left to learn. I did discover what I already knew, that I prefer intuitive pictures to the very technical ones and that’s always a relief, given that I’m such an anti talent when it comes to anything slightly technical. 😉
How are you, my darlings? I feel nobody’s reading blogs anymore, at least nobody seems to be interested in anything I have to say, or am I mistanken? Anyways, I like to write, so I’ll keep on writing regardless of readers. It’s mainly for therapeutic reasons, to keep me from talking to myself- haha! 😉
I’m living my best life for the time being, going to photography courses twice a week, working either too much or too little and in between sitting with a beer or a glass of wine in cafés and writing short stories. I think I might just have cracked the code, writing comes easier and so do the stories that want to be put down on paper. (No, I don’t write them down with a pen, I’m not that old-fashioned!)