Evolving

 

Today I feel like writing. Not a poem or a short story, the way I often do lately, not even a text accompanying an “artistic” picture that sends me back on a trip to memory lane, I feel like writing a bit about myself and my life. Well, what do you know, you’ll probably say, isn’t it the only thing you do? 😉 Well, I read somewhere (I can’t remember where for the life of me), I read about this universal question and its universal answer- “What makes your problems bigger than anybody else’s?” “Because they’re mine!”- and what can I say,  it’s the perfect description.

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These days I’m thinking of the way people sweep into our lives, what they mean to us, at least for a while, how we let them slip- or they let go of us-, how much of an impact some make, how others barely manage to brush by us and what a hole others again leave behind. I’m not thinking of anyone in particular and definitely not about lovers, at least not the kind of lovers that came and went with the wind; I seldom loose sleep over them, as you reach an age where crying over spilt milk is merely a waste of soul.

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In the grand scheme of things, I’m enjoying life more and more. I’m loving photography more and more with each day and I somehow stopped blaming myself for having such a “fickle” nature, that hinders me from staying put in the same job and doing the same things year after year. Maybe it’s not “fickle” I am, maybe it’s the opposite, the way leaving my former life was not “fickle”, but honest. I don’t know about you, but I feel like explaining myself less and less with every day that passes, like an old lady who knows it’s too late for regrets, you can only enjoy what’s left of your life.

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Trying to keep fit with my Sammy walks and yoga, it’s a bit difficult when all I do in my spare time is cooking, baking, reading and eating. 😉 haha! But I don’t feel old, neither fat, I just feel less vain, if that makes any sense to you? I have my dresses, I have my heels (which I rarely wear any more), I have my painted toes and my clutches, but life has turned more and more into observing the seasons, foraging, preserving and taking in as much beauty as I can, in an attempt to fight the winter blues.

I’m going to Bucharest with a friend on my birthday, I can’t wait to celebrate it with my family, to have a coffee pilgrimage on Friday and drive to my grandma’s place on Saturday, to see if I can find some souvenirs to honor her by, ’cause remember her I will anyways. 😉 And now I need an hour to myself, we’re getting ready for theatre and I need to let the day sink in. Love you!

xxx, Alina

 

 

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