children

Funny How Things Turn out in Life

I’m sorry for my long absence, these days I call it a good one if I get to shower, there’s Madeleine and then there’s everything else. So four months have passed since I last wrote a couple of words and believe me, it’s a wonder I’m writing this entry now. 😉 (If it isn’t dinner, it’s walking Sam, or she wakes up on account of separation anxiety or I’m simply dead and waiting to be buried ;-))

You see, having yearned for a child for all my life, when it finally happened, I should have been in 7th heaven, but the truth is corona monopolized our lives and on top of that I had no idea raising a child would be this hard. Some days I feel I’m just starting to keep afloat, most days I don’t.

But the happiness is real. You do get to wake up to (and in our case with) a funny little creature so happy it’s out of line when the clock shows only 5:30, then you start singing and clapping your hands the minute you’ve put on your socks and from there it can only get better. She gets her milk and I brew my coffee while checking the infection rate in Oslo- haha.

As I was telling you everything is about Madeleine these days. Although she started kindergarten on the 1st of March, it feels like for the better part of the time she’s either been sick or her group/the kindergarten have been closed. So I work if I get the chance and I’m happy if I get to meet up in person, because seeing people is what keeps me sane.

We’ve been cheering for spring for a month now and now she’s there and then she isn’t. How about where you live? Do you get to at least be outside, with all these restrictions? We have, even when it’s been too cold to enjoy it, we’ve bought a coffee and pushed the stroller and tried to keep our chin up.

The vaccination is slow or maybe I’m just too impatient and so we don’t dare to make any plans, either, not even for a weekend a couple of hours away where there’s more life than here. Up until now it was sort of a conscious decision not to go anywhere, but now I feel I’d give my right arm to get a taste of normality just for a day or so.

Otherwise, we’re good. There’s almost nothing left of my life before children and I miss it terribly, but there’s no time to mourn and her being so sweet definitely helps.

I wish you a happy spring, wherever you are!

xxx, Alina

Parenthood

It’s been raining since last night

I heard it when I woke up at 5

To give you the last milk bottle-

Your hands were playful,

But your eyes were still sleepy

I kissed your forehead

And put you back to bed

Between the rabbits and the squid

You reached for the pacifier

And grabbed the squid’s tentacle with your tiny hand.

It was still raining when you woke us up

Just before the alarm started ringing

And I brought you to our bed to cuddle.

You grabbed your father’s nose and reached for my hair

And said something that resembled oh, hi there.

It’s still raining and you’re taking your second nap

I’m all by myself wrapped in my longing cloak

All day I dream of minutes filled with silence

And when you sleep all I can hear is you…

All days are filled with so much of the same,

The uniformity of it all is so draining,

And yet I have so much patience

Where does all this patience come from

I never though I would make a good parent

I never knew how to even be good to myself

Before you came along.

September 2020, Oslo

Christmas 2016

Christmas is a difficult time for many people, myself included. All this focus on family, the being on your best behaviour and the “look how successfully we’re wrapping up the year” makes me feel pretty exhausted. I feel much closer to many of my friends than to some of my blood relatives. As for the in laws, I’ve never been a mother-in-law’s dream, God knows why, and this time is no different. haha!_mg_9892 Continue reading →

Halloween and Flea Market Saturday

IMG_7791We had a great day yesterday serving waffles and coffee to friends and their children, playing spooky with Sam and his little disciples, as well as looking for Beo (the cat), who´d gone into hiding from all that clamour. We sold quite a few things and are holding our breath hoping that more people will knock on our day today, too. 😉
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Lazy bones

Today I woke up early to finish a couple of written translations that are due today, but I seem to do anything to postpone it. In fact, procrastinating is my middle name. These days have been wonderfully lazy, so sliding back into routine is no easy task. We´ve had movie marathons and binge eating (not food, but chips and sweets), napping from 8pm to 9pm and things unheard of outside Christmas break. Yesterday however I managed to read a couple of pages, after working for a bit and then giving the house a quick shine. A friend visited with her sweet baby and we had the greatest time bonding. Unfortunately I´m quite ambivalent about children since I´ve been longing for one for so long, so I never know how I will react, I either like them too much or I just couldn´t be bothered. But Isabella was the cutest little thing and so easy to get along with, I was sold!

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My big fluffy baby

There´s nothing like a child of your own, they say, and I don’t think I could argue with that. I´ve been hoping for a child for 10 years now and it might happen soon, but I don´t take it for granted. However, the pets in my life have always been very important.  They have given me a sense of home and of belonging, but also the chance to feel care and responsibility for someone else than myself. My biggest love for the time being is Sam, our amazing samoyed. Here are some new pictures with my cute little darling. Isn´t he adorable?

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