It’s been raining since last night

I heard it when I woke up at 5

To give you the last milk bottle-

Your hands were playful,

But your eyes were still sleepy

I kissed your forehead

And put you back to bed

Between the rabbits and the squid

You reached for the pacifier

And grabbed the squid’s tentacle with your tiny hand.

It was still raining when you woke us up

Just before the alarm started ringing

And I brought you to our bed to cuddle.

You grabbed your father’s nose and reached for my hair

And said something that resembled oh, hi there.

It’s still raining and you’re taking your second nap

I’m all by myself wrapped in my longing cloak

All day I dream of minutes filled with silence

And when you sleep all I can hear is you…

All days are filled with so much of the same,

The uniformity of it all is so draining,

And yet I have so much patience

Where does all this patience come from

I never though I would make a good parent

I never knew how to even be good to myself

Before you came along.

September 2020, Oslo