Love

You catch my eye

Like the candle flame

Fluttering before it dies

Beautiful and frail.

 

I reach out for you

Your skin feels like sun beams

I burn my finger tips in longing.

 

 

In your smile

I see the truths lined up

Like fir trees

Waiting to be picked up

To a joyful Christmas home.

 

December 2016

 

Sick day

It´s funny how body and psyche are interconnected

And yet they step in for each other if needed

Like today, when I´m down with a cold,

But my spirits are quite high.

It´s as if they got it

That I can´t do both at once

The being sick and the being sad

that is, so they gave me a break.

 

I´m not sad everyday anymore,

But still I´m grateful for a break,

Even though I blow my nose

A hundred times a day

And my mother is nagging about

Rubbing my throat

With salt on my finger

No thanks, I think I got it.

At least I´m not sad.

 

March, 2016

“Martisor”

 

Today I´ve had a bad day

And I don´t only mean

A bad hair day,

But the kind of day

When your fears

Are palpable,

When all your sadness

Resurfaces from some

God forgotten place

And biblical guilt

Haunts you

Until you want to scream

And say “I give in”!

 

All this turmoil

Makes me tired,

Makes me want to crawl

Back into my shell

Where it doesn´t matter

If you´re good or bad

`Cause you´re miserable anyways.

 

But I fight it.

 

I´ve been so happy

These past few days,

I threw myself at happiness

Like it wasn´t deceitful

Like I believed I could do it.

 

Nothing´s changed, though

It might be the “MARTISOR”-

The Romanian way

Of celebrating spring,

There´s no sign of spring here, you see-

And my anxiety gets the best of me.

 

March, 2016

 

 

 

Lover

Good bye, sweet lover

Wish I could say you were a blast,

But I don´t do blast

I only do love or sorrow.

 

When I told that to the psychologist,

He didn´t raise an eyebrow,

He simply said- it´s your way

And I thought to myself- Finally!

Somebody understands

Even if I pay him to do so,

It´s kind of empowering anyways.

 

I have a date tonight

High heels and red lips

The usual “trick”

Wonder if I can trick myself into it, too.

 

January, 2016

Me

I´m not defining myself through love,

I know I´m enough on my own

I only wish I could forward this affection

Towards my neglected self

Instead of everyone else.

 

I´m so tired, oh so tired

Won´t you hold me for a while

Don´t say a word,

Just let me have a sigh on your shoulder

The silent kind,

The one that doesn´t change a thing,

But leaves you hollow.

 

January 2016