I’ve always been a bit absent-minded, but lately it’s been getting worse and worse. I don’t know if it’s because the last couple of years have been tough on me, if it’s the medicine or if it comes with age, but I hope it’s not going to be like this forever ’cause one day I’m going to find myself in trouble.
happy as f*
Let me just tell you a couple of episodes, so you can see what I mean. A couple of weeks ago I asked a colleague of mine if he’d be willing to take over a case for me, since I’d be in Rome one of those two days. When I was about to send an email and let the court know about the change, it turns out it was in September, not August. And that was a bad day anyway, ’cause I had another trial that day, so I had to give it away only my colleague wouldn’t be able to take it, since he was busy as well.
I want to write about Rome, in fact I’ve started on the entry already, but I had to stop since I need to change my iCloud (I still share it with V and he’s told me he sees all my pics) and I have no idea how. Nor did I feel like going to town only to fix that, either. Haha! The thing is that when I have lots to do, I get to run a lot of errands, too, but when I have a “day off”, I can’t be bothered to go to town only to run errands. I kind of hate taking public transportation and going to crowded places if I don’t have to. Especially if Sam is with me, he’s my alibi. 😉
These days I feel so relieved. I don’t owe anybody anything any more, except for gratitude to the ones who remained my friends and family until the end. I don’t have a mortgage anymore, nor do I have to take into account my ex husband’s finances, whom I still care for very much, but who is no longer my responsibility. In fact nobody is (in that way) and I’m nobody else’s responsibility than my own. And that’s so liberating I want to climb on a mountain top and scream: Yuhuuu!
Morning! The cold has softened and it´s easier to be outside without feeling that you´re losing your nose. Also there´s no wind, so my eyes stopped watering, which is such a relief, ´cause I was walking around with frozen eyelashes all the time. 😉
I´ve cooled down a bit, or so it seems. I´m able to be by myself without feeling like throwing myself out of the window in desperation, I´m making the fire, washing my clothes and preparing some sort of dinner, too. Who knew it´d be that hard to do what I´ve been doing for ages, just because I´m on my own now?
I´ve been so sociable lately that I´m right out exhausted. I just want to listen to music by my furry boys, write until I have no more words coming out and then go to sleep. I´ve started being able to fall asleep by myself again, without sleeping pills, that is. I still wake up in the middle of the night, though, and only sleep for 5-6 hours, but it´s a step forward.
This week has gone fast and yet not fast enough. I´ve started working 9-4 with a few exceptions and it´s good to be able to come home and walk Sammy and make some food without constantly being in a rush. I managed to go to the gym once and I hope I can attend yoga tomorrow. It feels good to find some time for yourself. I spend enormous amounts of time on Netflix, but that´s because I´m too tired to do anything else. I´m bad with manicure, but I love it when I have one, so I realized I had to prioritize a bit. Breakfast or manicure? The latter!;-)
This week has been good to me so far and it´s nearly weekend already! I tried to eat healthy, worked just enough hours, took Sammy for a long walk in the woods on Monday, worked out with my Personal Trainer yesterday and went to bed early. And I started feeling a bit better. Last week´s tension had taken its toll on me and left me without any energy. And exhaustion is just one step away from depression, so I try not to end up there again.
Today I´ve taken it slowly, went for a long walk with Sam, spent some time in bed with coffee and Instagram and now I´m about to start billing for a couple of hours. Later on I´m having lunch with a friend, then work for a couple of hours more and this evening we´re entertaining guests for dinner. 🙂 I´m not sure what to cook, I thought maybe I should give Boeuf bourguignon a try. I have plenty of time to wait for it cook to perfection, the only question is if I feel like going to the Wine Monopoly to buy the wine.
I´ve also started therapy. I´ve been dreading the idea for so long I knew I needed to jump into it or else I´d never do it. It´s very emotionally draining, but it triggers a lot of mental activities that help you focus. I believe everybody holds the cure within oneself, it´s just that when life seems to be too demanding, one cannot sort out one´s priorities any more. Enough about that. It costs a fortune, if one were waiting in the health line, one might as well be dead until it´s finally one´s turn.
Can´t wait for the weekend to come! We´re going to a party on Saturday and to a birthday picnic on Sunday. 🙂 I need to find the perfect dress (in my wardrobe) and get the manicure to go with! Until then, I leave you with some pictures from this week´s activities. I hope you have a great one! xxx, Alina