What is motherhood if not a quest into the unknown? It feels like I’ve been waiting for this my entire life and yet I have no notion of what’s in store for me. I only know that dreams become smaller and little joys bigger.
pregnancy
Diary
Half way into my pregnancy, life is busy and we can’t wait for Madeleine to be born. We’ve already got a bed and some blankets from friends, saved enough money for a pram and now we’re looking for a good armchair for breastfeeding. I was hoping we’d move by then, but my significant other is as thorough as I am impulsive, so things take time.
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Anxious nights
I’m so not gonna be the kind of mother that worries all the time, I told myself. I’m going to be cool, like I was with the cats and I am with Sam. I’m gonna think that nothing bad could ever happen to my baby, not after all I’ve gone through to get her/him. That’s what I thought. The truth is I’m an anxious person and I’m on max dosage of medicine to be able to deal with that on an everyday basis. I almost have a panic attack if a looney gets on the bus, I hyperventilate if a drunk seats himself next to me, you get the idea. I finally found out why mingling with the wrong crowd drains me of energy- it’s because if there’s no chemistry, anxiety kicks in. Continue reading
Sunny Days
After a gloomy August and a handful of rainy days in the beginning of September, the sun is out again and all of a sudden, life is so much easier to live. I’m done with two weeks in court in a horribly boring case, done with a mind-numbing written translation, so my will to live is stronger than ever- I must sound suicidal, in reality I’m only very very blasé. Continue reading
September Already
Where did summer go, I wonder. These days I’m looking for my autumn coats to wrap myself in and keep warm on chilly mornings. 😉 I’ve been nauseous for a period and crazy busy on top of that, which is always a horrible combination. But now it seems I can breathe a little more and I’m getting ready for a long weekend in London at the end of September. First and foremost it’s for a school project where I need to follow an interesting person over a couple of days and so I chose my friend Lavinia. Second it’s to get a break from routine and third- it’s my birthday!
