What is motherhood if not a quest into the unknown? It feels like I’ve been waiting for this my entire life and yet I have no notion of what’s in store for me. I only know that dreams become smaller and little joys bigger.
Half way into my pregnancy, life is busy and we can’t wait for Madeleine to be born. We’ve already got a bed and some blankets from friends, saved enough money for a pram and now we’re looking for a good armchair for breastfeeding. I was hoping we’d move by then, but my significant other is as thorough as I am impulsive, so things take time. Continue reading
I’m so not gonna be the kind of mother that worries all the time, I told myself. I’m going to be cool, like I was with the cats and I am with Sam. I’m gonna think that nothing bad could ever happen to my baby, not after all I’ve gone through to get her/him. That’s what I thought. The truth is I’m an anxious person and I’m on max dosage of medicine to be able to deal with that on an everyday basis. I almost have a panic attack if a looney gets on the bus, I hyperventilate if a drunk seats himself next to me, you get the idea. I finally found out why mingling with the wrong crowd drains me of energy- it’s because if there’s no chemistry, anxiety kicks in. Continue reading
After a gloomy August and a handful of rainy days in the beginning of September, the sun is out again and all of a sudden, life is so much easier to live. I’m done with two weeks in court in a horribly boring case, done with a mind-numbing written translation, so my will to live is stronger than ever- I must sound suicidal, in reality I’m only very very blasé. Continue reading
Where did summer go, I wonder. These days I’m looking for my autumn coats to wrap myself in and keep warm on chilly mornings. 😉 I’ve been nauseous for a period and crazy busy on top of that, which is always a horrible combination. But now it seems I can breathe a little more and I’m getting ready for a long weekend in London at the end of September. First and foremost it’s for a school project where I need to follow an interesting person over a couple of days and so I chose my friend Lavinia. Second it’s to get a break from routine and third- it’s my birthday!