Anxious nights

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I’m so not gonna be the kind of mother that worries all the time, I told myself. I’m going to be cool, like I was with the cats and I am with Sam. I’m gonna think that nothing bad could ever happen to my baby, not after all I’ve gone through to get her/him. That’s what I thought. The truth is I’m an anxious person and I’m on max dosage of medicine to be able to deal with that on an everyday basis. I almost have a panic attack if a looney gets on the bus, I hyperventilate if a drunk seats himself next to me, you get the idea. I finally found out why mingling with the wrong crowd drains me of energy- it’s because if there’s no chemistry, anxiety kicks in.  Continue reading