You´ve never been sad
Until sad is all you can feel,
Until sadness takes your sleep away
And you feel yourself dissolve
Into a pool of sweat and fear
Too weak to let go
Too tired to keep going.
That kind of sadness
Is a special kind of hell-
Only known to the ones of us
Who feel with every inch of our skin.
It´s only when you´ve mourned the loss of love
On your own or in the arms of others,
That you can fully understand
How lucky you are to fall in love again.
April, 2016
Today I´ve had a bad day
And I don´t only mean
A bad hair day,
But the kind of day
When your fears
Are palpable,
When all your sadness
Resurfaces from some
God forgotten place
And biblical guilt
Haunts you
Until you want to scream
And say “I give in”!
All this turmoil
Makes me tired,
Makes me want to crawl
Back into my shell
Where it doesn´t matter
If you´re good or bad
`Cause you´re miserable anyways.
But I fight it.
I´ve been so happy
These past few days,
I threw myself at happiness
Like it wasn´t deceitful
Like I believed I could do it.
Nothing´s changed, though
It might be the “MARTISOR”-
The Romanian way
Of celebrating spring,
There´s no sign of spring here, you see-
And my anxiety gets the best of me.
March, 2016
Phew, I´m turning sane again! Thought I´d never get there again.. I´m reading a book, a crappy detective story, don´t even know if it´s bad in the original language- English, or if it´s just the translation into Norwegian, but who cares, the story is solid enough and I´m curious to see who the murderer is. 😉
I also cooked, for the second time in over 3 weeks now, just some pasta, but at least I managed the deed. Made some sugar coated almonds the other day, too. I´m on the right track. Thank God, I was starting to loose it entirely! Lacking sleep, hardly eating and not having very high thoughts of myself. 
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Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example,’The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another’s. She will be another’s. Like my kisses before.
Her voide. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.
xxx, Alina
Stories and Anecdotes by Sharron Little Burnett
Created with sugar and love
Because it is all about sharing moments and creating memories
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