Today I´ve had a bad day

And I don´t only mean

A bad hair day,

But the kind of day

When your fears

Are palpable,

When all your sadness

Resurfaces from some

God forgotten place

And biblical guilt

Haunts you

Until you want to scream

And say “I give in”!

 

All this turmoil

Makes me tired,

Makes me want to crawl

Back into my shell

Where it doesn´t matter

If you´re good or bad

`Cause you´re miserable anyways.

 

But I fight it.

 

I´ve been so happy

These past few days,

I threw myself at happiness

Like it wasn´t deceitful

Like I believed I could do it.

 

Nothing´s changed, though

It might be the “MARTISOR”-

The Romanian way

Of celebrating spring,

There´s no sign of spring here, you see-

And my anxiety gets the best of me.

 

March, 2016