Kiss me like you love me
Is my favourite line nowadays
It works, but then it doesn´t.
I want you to see me for my soul
Not this pretty shell
Love my nakedness, baby
I don´t want to grow a skin.
I should learn how to be by myself
Shouldn´t be hard
I kind of like being alone
It´s just me I´m not sure that I like.
Everyday life takes its toll on me again,
I try to keep busy
So I don´t have to think
About anything big.
It´s fairly predictable, this being alone thing
I do the same stuff, mostly
I walk the dog
I avoid the kitchen
And I play loud music
So as not to hear my own thoughts.
But they´re so piercing and so insistent
And they´re so reproaching, too.
They follow me around everywhere
“Please, let me be!”
“No, we´re not through with you
You need to listen!”
Then I push the head phones
In my ears, until they hurt-
It reminds me of when I stuffed my nose
Full of corn, as a child
And it´s soothing.
Tomorrow I´ll be fine.
I´ll think of something
I´ll keep away from the kitchen
And won´t spill any water all over the sink.