When I sleep

These days, my favourite time of the day is when I´m not awake. It´s when I don´t feel a thing, or at least I don´t know that I do. I sleep with my head under the covers, so as not to let the cold slip in.

The snow has managed to put a lid on my emotions and I feel passive and tired yet again. In a way it´s preferable to this tornado of sentiments that I don´t know what to do with anyways. Let it be sleep. I could sleep for a couple of months. Just let things slide by.

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“It´s going to be like that for a while”, people say. “Give yourself some time.” “You´ll bounce back in the end, you´ll see.” I guess. It´s not the end I´m worried about, but the everyday hassle. I´m worried about tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. I´m worried about getting out of bed, making coffee, walking Sammy, taking a shower, getting dressed and going to work. And so on. I´m worried about not being able to contain myself and not being able to pull myself together from all the corners of my scattered self. But maybe I shouldn´t be. Maybe I´m more resilient than I give myself credit for.

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Today is Saturday. I have to work for a couple of hours, I´ll try to take Sammy to the woods and pop by a sort of an exhibition/artistic flea market. And the cleaning lady is coming to give the floors a quick shine. God knows they need it! I might even bake a cake if I´m in the mood. Baking usually cheers the hell out of me. 😉

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Phew. That was me. This is winter in Norway- beautiful, but emotionally draining. 😉 What´s new with you, folks?

xxx, Alina

 

2 thoughts on “When I sleep

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