I’ve been taking the new medication for ADHD since Monday. At first there was a slight sense of relief, not much other effect, not like with the first one, the one containing Ritalin, where I could see everything that was going to happen in traffic in slow motion, as if I was playing a video game. As luck would have it, the side effects the Ritalin had didn’t materialize, either: the continuous talking, even worse than my UNregulated self, the outright lack of filter, the utter uninhibitedness. Not to mention the palpitations, the fidgeting, the feeling that I’ll transcend my body at any time, that I’ll take off on my own account. 

Not with this one, though. Slowly, a sense of peace has sinked in. Up until now I have never understood the extent of my unrest. Or my anxiety. How most of my behaviour is a result of some kind of coping mechanism. I always thought it to be an integral part of my personality. Imagine being so wrong.

It’s Thursday and I’m out of town for work. I went to bed at 10 pm and woke up at 7 am. With the alarm clock, of course, but I didn’t need 1,5 h to wake up. Nor any coffee. My only sorrow is I can’t drink 10 cups of coffee like I used to, it feels like my heart is going to leap out of my chest with the 1st one. I think I need to find some decent decaf soon. 

xxx, Alina